Horny Avocado

In light of the Chipotle crisis, I have finally figured out their scheme. So in my sleeplessness I decided to do what any bored teen would do and scroll down my timeline. After a few minutes of scrolling I found an article that listed 7 foods that get you in the mood. Near the top was avocado, and all I could think in my head was... That's why everyone loves Chipotle. It all makes sense now. Chipotle simply attracts horny teenagers and that's why guac is extra! Who would have though? Maybe this is why all of my friends always get laid! Buzz feed articles always make me laugh, because almost anything thing someone reads on the internet might not be credible. The most embarrassing time I have ever feel victim to the internets satire like ways was when I read an article of how the governor of Texas wanted to behead gays. I was like, "OH MY GOD NO NOT ELLEN!" I brought this to the attention of my Junior year history teacher when he was inquiring about current events. HIs jaw dropped. He walked me out to the hallway and made me pull up my source. It was the Onion. He read the same thing the day before. I never raised my hand again in American Studies.