Monday, April 25, 2016

Must See Scary Movies

Ever since my half evil babysitter half cousin forced my to watch The Exorcist at age five and Scream at age seven, I have been very squeamish to anything that goes bump in the night. Since I like to scare myself senselessly, I watch every scary movie I can get my hands on. So this is my must see list:

  • Mirrors
  • Evil Dead (The Remake)
  • The original Evil Dead, Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness
  • All of the Scream movies
  • The Collector
  • Cabin in The Woods
  • The Exorcist 
  • Drag Me to Hell
  • Legion
  • Killer Clowns From Outer Space
  • Sharknado
  • Zombeavers
  • The Mist
There are many more movies I can list, but if these movies don't scare you or put a smile on your face that is unfortunate. On the other hand, for every great and satirical scary movie to come out there have been hundreds made that will make you want to burn down Holly-Wood.

  • The Forest
  • The Witch
  • Most Stephen King movies, he is a phenomenal writer, but the movies based on his books suck
  • Saw movies
  • and any scary movie that the creepy kid in your class who wears all black and pentagrams told you to watch. The probably saw the exorcism on Emily Rose and converted to satanism. 

The Twin Bed

I am not quite sure why the twin bed is called what it is. Twins are two identical people, so why is it so damn difficult to fit two people on a twin bed comfortably? I rarely get to see my boyfriend, due to our conflicting schedules and how life always gets in the way, so in order to reconnect he started spending the night in my dorm. He always drives me back to school on Sunday night, and we grab something to eat and normally watch a movie. Twin beds are great when it is to people trying to watch a movie, but if both of you plan on sleeping it will be a fight to the death.
Dear Boys and Men,
Girls do like to spoon, but that is not the optimal position to sleep in. It is like being suffocated. If you plan on marrying the girl that you are currently sleeping next to, girls like to sprawl out just as much as you do.
The Girl Friend of 2 years.
Last night was kind of sad, because we got back at the dorm so late that all we had time for was running through my note cards as opposed to watching Beauty and the Beast and drinking Mondo (That delicious juice every nineties kids has drank with the twist of plastic piece). We ending up falling asleep by twelve thirty, but unfortunately I have the bladder of an old diabetic women. This results with me getting up at least once in the middle of the night to run down the hallway in my favorite t-shirt and panties hoping no one is awake to see me. Upon returning to my room, I found Matt taking up the whole bed. I ended up sleeping on the floor for another hour, but I had to make two more bathroom runs. Once I arrived from the third trip, I crawled into my bed and laid with my head near his feet and got little to no sleep with his leg spasms. When I woke up, I looked at my feet and I smiled seeing him all wrapped up in pink, purple and blue blankets. We looked like a yin-yang sign and it was perfect.

Morbid Humor

People like me suffer from being looked down upon by society for having inappropriate humor. I also get in trouble for laughing at terrible things that other people would mourn over. I regretfully admit that the Holocaust, 9/11, terminal illnesses, and psychiatric problems make me cry, with laughter. Luckily, science has been able to explain this phenomenon. People like me laugh at inappropriate things for the same reason they laugh when they are tickled. It is a response to stress or discomfort. Should I have laughing at my grandma's funeral when it was completely silent? Probably not. It seems insensitive to make jokes out of tragedies, but that is just the way I manage to stay happy in such an unfortunate world. So, while dinning at Maggianos in the streets of Wood Field with my boyfriend, the waiter gave us a little sales pitch as to way we should donate to the Make A Wish foundation. He handed us a slip with a picture of the girl they were supporting. It contained information such as her name and what cancer she had. The piece of paper was cut into the star. After our meal, we ended up donating five bucks and going on our merry way. After we were already an hour away on the high way, I noticed a star piece of paper chilling in my purse. We forgot to give them the star back. My boyfriend threw the star out of the car window and said now she is a shooting star. I never laughed so hard in my life. The moral of this story is I plan on going back to Maggianos this weekend so I can donate fifty dollars to wipe my hands of how horrible we are.

Monday, April 18, 2016

The finer things

I often forget that I can even be happy, and on terribly busy days like this where I feel trapped like this hell can never end I like to list things that make my life worth living. It is similar to the song in The Sound of Music where they sing during a rain storm. It has something to do with rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Well anyways, here is my list you can sing it if you prefer. If you do that I request you do it to the tune of Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus.

  • Miley Cyrus
  • Shampooed Cows
  • Gotham, Walking Dead, Dare Devil, Jessica Jones and Cuckoo 
  • The abundance of coffee at my disposal 
  • The Old Disney Channel
  • Our society's shift toward equal rights 
  • The crappy modern art in Down Town Chicago
  • Cheese of any kind
  • The fact that no one has called me out for my inapporpriate humor yet
  • Being feed cheese
  • Potatoes 
  • Potatoes with cheese
  • Portillo's cheese fries
  • Stoufer's Mac and Cheese
  • Sleep

  • that we have so many different FONTS

Move out day

Everyone has experienced one of those days where the universe hates them and everything that can go wrong does. It is like the universe is screaming YOU'RE ADOPTED, which I am, and the proceeds to rubs lemon juice and salt in all of the paper cuts it has inflicted on you. Yesterday was probably the most unfortunate day I have ever experienced in my entire life. I began with it being extremely hot and my friends air conditioning breaking while we were moving her out. It took three sweaty hours for us to finish packing. Since it was "nice" out, all 500 people that live in her building were running in and outside. She lived on the 12th floor, so we had to move princesses stuff to the elevator and to the car. I took many trips and about 15 minutes between us pressing the elevator button and getting into it. We developed a nice system where we would switch off who loaded the car and who went to grab more stuff. On one of the last trips I had to make with her stuff I arrived to her car with it being locked and she was not there. I sat down for a few minutes and when she returned with a bag I asked for the keys. Long story short she locked them in the car. We called a tow truck and the man opened the doors for us. As the car alarm frantically went off, we scoured the car for the key but had no luck. In the heat of the moment I closed the door and locked us out of the car again. The nice tow man opened it again and left. Thought the doors were open we still couldn't find the keys. We ended up having to call my boyfriend to go get the spare from her house and pick us up three hours away. 3 hours later when he arrived, we popped the trunk to finish packing and the keys fell out of the trunk. I refuse to tell Matt, because he bitched the whole way home about driving.

Rolling Skys

I recently experienced the best day of my life. No, it was not my wedding or the birth of a child. It was laying in the grass watching the clouds with my best friend. It was my friend's last day at U of I for extenuating circumstances. We wanted to make the best of it and celebrate the end of hell year for her, and of course we planned on partying until she could forget. However, this is not exactly how the day went. It actually started off with us going to a NEDA walk to show support for those with eating disorders. She is recently recovering from severe anorexia, and if I can understand how she feels I will do anything I can to support her. We walked around U of I's arboretum, and gazed at the beautiful budding flowers. The weather was even nicer than we expected, so that was a bonus countering the unfortunate fact that the walk was at 8am on a Saturday. When it ended, we ate a Chipotle and walked down Green Street. The whole day consisted of us sitting in a grave yard while playing White Chicks on Netflix watching the clouds go by. In a dorky way we actually talked about what abstract shapes and deformed animals we say in our fluffy white friends. I am normally a very restless pessimistic person, but my heart was open for once. I actually experience pure bliss. This was the first times I ever felt that I could stop worrying and that everything would be okay. The feeling was as how Buddah described Nirvana, with out bad. Even days after I get the feeling of joy knowing that I can be happy.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016


What do I love?
I love helping others, especially the one's that I care about. I love eating cheese, sleeping and having time to relax. I love my boyfriend and reminding him how much I care.
What do I want to do?
I want to be a nurse. I want to see the world and travel. I want to spend the rest of my life eating cheese, relaxing, helping others, and do it with Matt.
What will I do to reinforce that tomorrow?
Tomorrow, I will continue my studies and finish all of my homework to the best of my abilities. No matter how sleep deprived I am, hungry or stressed out I am, I will continue you to get what I need to done, so I can become a nurse one day. In the time I have left, I will make him for Matt, cheese eating and relaxing. I used to get stressed out if I got less than 6 hours of sleep, but my tiredness is just a barrier keeping me from my end goal. College is my only option of becoming a nurse, because I do need to get a degree to work as one. I know that if I continue to do my work, no matter how miserable I am, I am working toward my goal, and for that it is worth it. When my goal is met, I will no longer have to worry about going to work and school at the same time, while being expected to complete hours of home work. I will no longer have to worry about all of the sick people who I am helpless to aid. I will build my skills and have time to relax when my goal is achieved. But the funny thing about goals is that once one is met other ones are likely to arise, so this business and lack of time for the things I love is just a way of making what I love more valuable to me and my dream more worth it.

Monday, April 11, 2016

South Hall

For years I have dreamed about going off to college and living on my own. I thought it would be like moving to New York from a small town, but in reality I moved from a small town to an even smaller town. On move in day, I learned a hard lesson. My dorm hall does not have elevators, and I am on the top floor. My room is a foot bigger than a jail cell, and I mean come on at least prisoners get their own toilet. The toilet paper is one ply. My room has a spider and wasp problem and it also has an annoying neighbor problem. To the north, it sounds like the song bang bang with Nikki, Jessy and Ari. To the east, the wind brings large whiffs of pot. To the east, an alarm clock that the chick listens to for four hours at a time. I have seen her leave her room with it going. The showers are too small to shave my anything. The rooms are either on fire or snowing. All I think I have ate all year it Stouffer's mac and cheese. My, frost bitten, hairy legged, mac and cheese bellied, sleep deprived self wouldn't ask for anything different. I have struggled this year with everything from grades to body image to my grandma's death but I wouldn't change a thing.


Mom. You may not always understand me and I may not always get you, but we share the same stubbornness.
Mom. You may nag at me for never having an inside voice, but I get the volume from you.
Mom. You may not appreciate my alternative taste in music, but when you were a kid that was the Beatles concert to your parents.
Mom. You my not like the colors I dye my hair, but you used to have mall bangs.
Mom. You may think my tattoos and piercings are an act of rebellion but you used to pull pranks on the nuns.
Mom. You may not appreciate how much I swear, but the N word is not okay to use about our waitress.
Mom. You may despise my sleeping habits, but you once had them and now they are dictated by menopause. (STOP BLAMING ME)
Mom. You may think I complain a lot. It's about you. I am you. For all of the things you have ever grounded me for it was because you have done them. Being a parent isn't just about raising children, it's about giving them a better life than what you have had. I know everything you do you do to help me, and you know everything I do I do to get a reaction out of you. So one day, you will be there sitting with me and watching me nag my kids for the same things you have about me, and the cycle will continue for centuries. I am my mom's daughter. I appreciate you, but I will never understand until it is my turn.
Lastly, Mom. Stop haggling me about my spending habits. You know I have seen your credit card bills.

Dear Baby,

Dear Baby,
Hi it's your aunt, and I know you're not born yet, but we are all impatiently waiting. I want you to always feel loved. You already are. At the party where your parents were going to reveal wither you were a boy or a girl, the minute your mom cut the cake and saw pink frosting she cried tears of joy.
So, Dear Sofia, Olivia, or Mackenzie,
You are loved and you are worthy to be loved. I want you to know that, because we only accept the love we think we deserve. You deserve the world. You don't know this but when you are born into the world you are born with no obligations and filled with innocence. No one can take that innocence away from you. No one decides your path but you. You may be born into a certain family with certain beliefs but no matter where you start in life it doesn't matter, because it matters where you end. You get to choose where you end up in life. It is your decision and no one can take that away from you. Fat, skinny, rich, poor, tall, short, fun, serious you are you and for that the world will love you. If it doesn't except you with open arms, open its arms for them. You are a gift. Not every gift is expensive or nicely wrapped and topped with a bow, but they are surprises. Your wrapping may fool people but it is the content and thought that matters. Be what you want and except yourself, because you can have a million friends and please everyone, but until you go your own way you won't be whole. Though we all start off coming out of our mommies bellies, where you end up is where you decide.

Monday, April 4, 2016

My addiction

My head throbs. My eyes feel heavy and I cannot seem to function. I didn't get my daily fix. The joy of feeling it rush through my blood stream, and make me feel on top of the world. It makes my heart race and people say things you love make your heart flutter, so I think I may be in love. As the flutter pounds harder, my train of though derails. My body convulsive in a room the size of my body. As I shake I hit the walls and become exhausted and restless all at the same time. My eyes swell up with tears making them the size of an anime characters. My focus is blurry. My breathing is rapid. But most importantly I have to poop. I should really stop drinking coffee.

Technology is rude

I am 18 and I hate texting and phone calls. I use my phone for reading articles and homework. I am extremely tired of people asking me to teach them how to use their technology just because I am a teenager. Yes I am a teenager, and no I don't know how to work your apple TV or drone. My phone is flooded by text messages every hour. I only reply to those that matter or have to do with work. I may be the only person that thinks texting and calling is rude. I feel that when someone calls me out of the blue to have a conversation it is an invasion of my privacy. It is like someone barging into your room without knocking. When people call me I often find myself in the middle of homework, having a meal, or finally having time to myself after a long day of school. work, and homework. I try to please the caller by trying to complete my task and talk to them at the same time. I always get bombarded with requests such as, can you take me off speaker? No, I am using my hands to eat, do my hair, or type a blog post for class. Can you go somewhere more quite? No, I am at dinner and you just interrupted the conversation I had with the people I am actually with in real time. Can you hold on? No, you interrupted whatever I was doing so I can listen to silence? I don't think so. Please before you think about texting or calling me for leisure, think about what I am doing. If it is convenient for you, that's great, but I want to live in the hear and now. I don't want to hear my phone ring. I want to hear my doorbell ring.

What goes through my mind while being a front desk worker.

I am a recreation staff employee who is completely out of shape. The only shape I am is round. I sit around for 2 to 4 hours all the time waiting to swipe in vein and or self-conscious strutting into the rec center giving me attitude about always having to check into the gym. I enjoy being able to do my homework in between swiping cards, but I always hear drama and comments while working. Whither it is a girl with a stomach flat as can be saying she is fat or a fitness freak screaming FOCUS, I have heard it all. There is a guy who upon leaving always tells me to have a healthy day. No. no I will not. I will return to my dorm room, study more, and eat mac and cheese. No I do not care how many times you have been to the gym today and I have not, you still need to swipe in. Why is it that if I say anything more than "Hello, have a nice day." I am asked to repeat myself? Yes, I have resting bitch face. Please stop teasing me about service with a smile. If I am eating food, stop asking oh is that for me? You are more annoying than the people who see a retail item without a price on it and tell the employee, "Must be free." They already hate their job. Stop making it worse. I am fat not strong. Stop expecting me to re-rack your 50 pound weight. Lastly, if you are at a gym, don't complain about parking. If your life was so impairing by having to walk the extra 20 feet in the parking lot, maybe you really need to hit the treadmill instead of the weights.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Easter Bunny Problem

Many children get hyper around the month of March in anticipation of the Easter Bunny. I am not quite sure why, because what is so exciting about a giant bunny hiding eggs and candy in baskets around the house. My parents spiced it up and gave me presents, but i was never completely keen on the idea of a giant Easter Bunny breaking and entering in my house. Every year at the beginning of March my parents would dress me up in my Easter best and force me onto the lap of the mall bunny. Who knew what was under the urine stained matted down furry suite. The most memorable experience I had was at a mall in Wisconsin near Lake Geneva. I was only four years old. After getting my picture taken on the lap of a 7 foot bunny, my parents received the Polaroid. My father could not stop laughing and my mother looked disgusted. When I saw the picture, it ruined my childhood forever. In the bunnies mouth that man under the suits face appeared through the mesh. Being so young I thought the Easter bunny at the man under neath the suit. Years after I refused to sit on the bunnies lap without violently screaming and kicking. This is how the reoccurring dream came about. Every month of march, I would attempt to stay up all night everyday, so I didn't have to face the horrors of my dream state. If slumber did catch up to me, I would be haunted by the Satan Bunny. I was an inverse of Easter. Instead of hiding Easter baskets, my parents and I would have to hide. If the Satan Bunny found you he would kill you. It was pretty much hide and go die. My parents always died. My parents let the torment go on until fifth grade when I finally learned the truth. To this day every Easter my Mom and Dad compensate for their bad parenting with presents on Easter. This year I got $50 and a ton of peeps. Maybe if I milk it more next year they will give me $100. #BadParenting

Ode to Sodexo

The pizza is cold, and I am not sold, how can this possibly be food? I don't want to be rude, but chickpeas should not be served at every meal. This is not just how I feel, I not sure if what I am eating is veal, but I may just keel over and die. I think everything is fried and contains parts of flies, breakfast makes me want to cry and their bacon sits on a throne of lies. The ketchup and mustard have the consistency of custard what the fuck did i get myself into. Oh just my luck they claim that this green goop is roasted duck, and I might just up-chuck. I can't even trust the dessert their cake is more like a desert but advertised with an extra s. I'm not sure how I'm gaining weight I rarely fill or finish my plate. Ode to Sodexo.


I want to believe in something beyond this world, but logically i cannot. After reading Zarathustra, something stood out to me. In many different times and ways it was explained that those who preach life after death see life as suffering. They look at life as something you must endure until you reach your final destination after death. Though this is the view of one man who went crazy and died of syphilis, it made me think why should I keep wishing for something beyond this world, when this may very well be my elysium. Unfortunately this justifies generation x's slang term YOLO. For those who do not know what that means, Yolo is a poor acronym for you only live once. The idea of living life to its fullest is a romantic one; however, most people spend their life for preparing for after death than actually living it. As a kid, all I wanted in the world was to believe in magic. I thought that if I believed hard enough I would be able to become someone else and go other places. My young mind did not know this, but all of my fantasies were excuses. I waited for a miracle instead of going out and trying to change my life. Still let your kids watch fairy tales and avatar, and let them believe that if the put their mind to it they can bend water. They can. It is called jumping in puddles and splashing your friend at the beach. Don't wait around for magic, make it happen.

Looking Up

A few years ago my Dad and I went on a walk around a neighborhood river walk. My Dad is a man of few words, yet he always smiled and greeted everyone we would pass while walking. He asked me if I wanted to do an experiment, and of course I agreed. At the time science was my favorite class and I was excited that I might have the opportunity to impress my seemingly always disappointment father. He told me that every time someone would walk past me I should smile and say hi. He preached the opposite  of stranger danger. His hypothesis was that if I did not say hi first the stranger would not say anything and avoid eye contact. He was spot on. Every time i would greet someone they would return my salutations with a warm smile and hello. On the chance that I said nothing but looked at them, the would avoid eye contact. I am in college now, and I see almost the same people everyday. I live on a smaller campus, but there are still thousands of kids that attend. I still play this game, but instead of verbally greeting someone I just give them a smile and a wave. I am not sure if I look super friendly or like I am about to murder them, but I normally get a good response. Since I no longer use a verbal greeting, only the people who are looking up notice my actions. A majority of people my age use their phone as a scapegoat. I find myself doing it to. If I don't want to communicate with someone I find myself checking my phone and scrolling through instagram, but I find my day way more satisfying with human contact. Look up.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Vitamin D Deficiency

This winter hasn't been harsh because of a large amount of snowfall. It has be harsh in the context of the bitter cold. In winter many people find themselves feeling blue, not from hypothermia, but from a lack of vitamin D. In the summer, this deficiency is not as pronounced as it is in the winter. Many people get their vitamin D from catching sun over the summer. They lack of this vitamin leaves people feeling depressed and more likely to look out the window of a moving car listening to sad music and pretending their life is a Nicolas Sparks worthy music video. Yesterday was one of the first days I was able to walk comfortably outside with a tank top on. Maybe no one wants to see me in one, but to bad. My cousin spent the night and her mom picked her up after she attended my psychology class. After she left it was so beautiful out that I didn't feel like "reclusing" myself in my dorm room as I usually do. I walked over to the only semi-decent food place on campus and decided to change up my order for once. I got a grilled cheese with mayo on tomato bread instead of french. I know that sounds wild. I also deviated from my normal schedule and instead of eating at the second from the right of the window, I took my sandwich outside. I walked until I found a picnic table. I sat their alone enjoying my sandwich and realized something. Though chemically I am unhappy due to a vitamin D deficiency, I am unhappy because of my schedule. Changing my predictable cycle to something new made me feel reborn, Even though I only changed the bread on my sandwhich and ate among the tree as opposed to my peer I felt enlightened. We are not the sun or a period. We are human, and not meant to cycle.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

My Research Question

The topic I am doing for my research paper is should assisted suicide/euthanasia  be legal? I chose this topic, because one thing I am currently concerned with is how much power the government has over how we live or don't live our lives. I would like to answer this question that euthanasia should be legal. I picked this question because I think that the government abuses its power and interrupts in daily life. This has been a recent concern, because over the summer on the way home from the mall with my friends my boyfriend got pulled over. I thought it was because he was speeding like usual, but no they pulled him over to give me a ticket for not wearing my seat belt. I took it off right in front of my house, and the cop practically pulled the car over into my driveway. She probably just wanted to meet her ticket quota for the month. Thanks Carol Stream. The point of my little rant is what gives the government the right to make me wear a seat belt? If i get into a crash I will get hurt. Is it not my choice or my freedom to decide what happens to my body. On top of that in Illinois it is illegal to kill yourself. Not only will someone end up with an emotional scar from trying to end their life, but they will also end up having to pay a large fine to the government, and no this money will not go toward our map grant. In order to do this topic, I will need to understand the law and why it is in place. I do not believe that the government has the right to say what you can do with your life. I will also look into whither or not this became a law do to the lack of separation of church and state. I would need to use sources in multiple fields such as medical, religion, philosophy, psychology and anthropology to get a better view from all areas.

Monday, March 14, 2016

One is not their disease

I met my best friend when I was two years old. It all began when my aunt took me to a terrible two tumbling class. We parted after those weeks of rolling around together, and later reconnected at a mommy and me cooking class. We were both late to the class, so we got to be partners, and once the class came to an end we parted once more. Once we reconnected in preschool we were inseparable.  We went to preschool and dance class together for two years, and after our preschool graduation we had to part again. My parents decided to move a town over, and we wouldn't go to the same school together again until high school. The distance did not stop us from growing up together. We did everything together from choir, to dance, to summer camp. She was always the blondest and most well dressed person you would ever meet. Her parents gave her everything and being her best friend I never saw her in the same outfit twice. When we got to high school all of my guy friends were crazy about her. Once sophomore year hit she began thinning out, but she was already skinny as is. She then told me she was a vegan, and I sat with her in lunch and she refused to eat in-front of anyone. I knew before she did. My once beautiful and stunning partner in crime was still beautiful, but only a skeleton of what she had once been. I remember one day shopping at pac-sun and her breaking down and crying that the size double zero was a little tight on her. When she exited the fitting room the pants where practically falling off of her. I felt like the worst best friend in the world, because I didn't know what to do. I could not even begin to image how she felt, when I consumed cheese from the gallon. I am glad to report she is back to her old self, but her disease did and still does consume her life. I learned the best thing you can do for someone with a disease is to never call them by that disease. Say she has anorexia instead of she's anorexic. We don't say someone with cancer is cancer. We say that they have cancer. Describing someone with their disease isn't  doing the person justice. It puts them in a position where they believe that they can't beat their disease.

Bear Arms

Do we still need the right to bear arms? The answer is no. People insist on the right to carry a gun, but for what? Protection? If no one has a gun, what are you protecting yourself from? A bear? No. Even hunting has become extremely restricted as many animals have become endangered. What is the need to hunt, if you could simply go to your neighborhood Jewel? People say that we don't have a gun problem, but what about the gang violence in Chicago, and the recent epidemic of mass shootings. On Saturday night, I was going clubbing with my friends. On the way to the club, we decided that we wanted McDonald's shamrock shakes. On the way in to the golden arches we got cat called by some black teenagers in a car with a sunroof. We ordered our meals at sat down, and a strange stocky Asian man approached us.  He had a very strange and removed sounding voice as he told us before we arrived that he almost had an altercation with the kids before we had arrived. The man clearly had something off about him. He said that the kids flipped him of and made threats toward him. He made a motion like he was loading a gun and he told us he would have pooped them in the ass if he had his gun. He stood there proud as if we should be applauding him. We had no idea how to reason, so we sat in silence as he eyed. He then said he wish he shot the kids. This is when I felt the need to say that he should not be shooting anyone and shouldn't have a gun. These are teenagers that are just goofing around, and would you feel safe having your kid on the street with a crazy man with the license to carry which he conveniently whipped out of his wallet to display o my friends and I. This churned my stomach to know that anyone as obviously mentally unstable as him could carry a gun. Later that night, a crazy guy hyped up on cocaine was being chased around the parking garage and the police subdued him with a taser as a last result. They did not shoot him, and I believe that no one should have the right to carry a gun besides a police officer and a solider at war.

Freedom of Speech

Recently, Trump was run out of Chicago by angry protesters that didn't want him preaching hate in our city. So my question is are those people any better than Trump? By not allowing Trump to speak at a rally they were taking away his freedom of speech. I am not saying that I agree with some of the things Trump says, but as an American doesn't everyone have the freedom to say what they want? People only care about their freedom of speech if it is something they want to hear. People are getting all of their information for the internet on candidates political agendas, and due to this they are forming their opinions based on political cartoons. If we were to take a look back a Trumps views before they were twisted into memes we would see that even though he is theatrical, they are not meant to be racist or illogical. He believes in protecting the second amendment. We should not put other countries needs before our own. We need to stop out sourcing jobs to other countries, when unemployment is so high in the US. Things like this do not make him a bad person, it just makes him a conservative. Though his reality star alter-ego is what we see on stage, his watered-down ideas do hit home for many things people have been feeling for a long time. The one topic I feel is necessary to talk about now is Trumps immigration policy. Many people are freaking out and calling him a racist for him saying that he wants to kick out illegal immigrants from the country. They call him a racist and a bigot, but they seem to forget that the immigrants are illegal, which means they are breaking the law. So, I think they should be removed from the country. LET TRUMP SPEAK!

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Reflection on explanatory synthesis

I am in the middle of a process of writing a paper that it both within and stepping out of the bonds of my domain. I chose to do it about political bias, because a recent pet peeve of mine has been people getting all of their information for this upcoming election on social media. Many people fail to see that all of the articles and pictures they read are filled with bias. Their whole purpose is to change one's opinion to get one to vote for who the sender wants you to. It is outside of my domain, because I am apolitical for the most part. I began my paper with the three topics I wanted to discuss, and after I decided that they were concrete I progressed to finding sources to back my claims. I then filled in all of the other information. It has been a difficult process with reviewing, because most of the time we are just asked to answer abstract questions about our peer paper, as opposed to correcting content and grammar. It is even more difficult, since we are all new to the APA style. One thing I wish I did was learn APA before I began the writing  process as opposed to the tedious process of transitioning in. I am well aware that my paper is flawed and I have a long way to go before the final draft will be turned in, but one concern I have about my peers papers is their papers are just long lists of quotes and paraphrases as opposed to having sources support their words. I always learn to start a quote or citation with who said it, why they are relevant to your topic and then you insert the quote. Following the quote, one needs to dissect their quotation and say what it means and how it supports their topic. I shall miserably continue my treacherous pursuit of learning APA, because in the near future, I have a nursing degree to work towards. After reviewing my final draft, and overseeing my original design plan and outline, I noticed I followed my design plan start to finish. I did spice it up a little, but I followed the order i intended. One thing that I wish I could have done differently on my papers is after describing how to defeat political bias I wanted to explain different views of the popular political candidates. My paper could have gone on for pages, but I would have liked to incorporate, in an unbiased way, the popular candidates views, so the reader could make a decision for themselves.

Monday, March 7, 2016

Wtf Bossypants?

I don't know how to say this but in modest ways, Tina Fey what the fuck? You have disappointed me. You have been my idol for along time, and I just spent $9 to see a movie that completely lacked your style. Over my spring break, my mother and I got tickets to go see Wiskey Tango Foxtrot. The movie in itself was entertaining, but I believe it was falsely advertised. By advertising something with Queen Fey you are practically saying that whatever the product is, it will be amazing. I would say she is one of the funniest women to ever roam the earth, but that's restricting and makes her sound like a dinosaur. I is the funniest out of all walks of life. I had an excerpt of her autobiography Bossypants to compete with on speech team. I made it all the way to sectionals with it. Ever since I have invested my time and money to see and buy everything she's ever been apart of. Whisky Tango Foxtrot showed that Tina Fey is a gifted actress and can thrive in many different roles, but it fails to mention that it is more serious. I will still own it when. It comes out to DVD, because Tina Fey is a goddess and the movie was great, but I wanted to see more of her witty  humor in this work. Crotch biscuits.

Having Older Parents

It seems that older parents put me at a disadvantage in life but in places that didn't really matter. If you are planning on having a kid in later years in life, I recommend trying to keep up with the styles and fads going on in their lives. Not only were all of my outfits replicas of the poorly dressed kids on the Barney show, but my social skills lacked too. My parents did not plan on having me so late in their lives, but i was not an accident. The adoption process takes forever and a half. My parents recieved me when I was first born, but they were in their mid-40ies. They raised me with morals of other generations. I was expected to grow up faster and be polite. Young adult my age were never taught to be polite, their parents skipped right past manners and leapt to sports. Being polite and more sociable to adults put me at a disadvantage with making friends. At a young age children normally make friends because their parent has friends with kids around that age; however, all of my mom's friends kids were already leaving for college by the time I was born. Even Though having older parents didn't give me great social skills, it did allow me to be polite and kind to adults. My parents dressed me in ruffles, bonnets, and overalls. Too this day their ideas about the world still make me laugh. My favorite is when my mom asks if I am going steady or dating around. I still try to explain to her that dating around pretty much means being a dirty slut in this generation. I love them so much and wouldn't change them for the world, but if your kid is an only expect them to turn out weird and like an adult in a child's body.

A reoccurring dream

It was a fall day, and I had my soccer team over for a slumber party. My parents were out to dinner, and the music was blasting. We heard a scratching noise coming from the door leading to the garage. We hesitantly went to investigate. The door creaked open, but we found nothing. I chillingly shook of the previous worry and we headed back to the party. The scratching became louder and more apparent than before. As we opened the door, nothing was there expect claw like marks on  the back of the big oak door. I slammed the door and wen to go check on my guest and every had disappeared. The scratching started again except for this time it was loud enough to be inside of the house. I fling the door open and the was still and absent presence lingering among me. The garage door began to clatter open and I saw the head lights of my parents car. They stumbled into my house in an intoxicated manner. Their merriment was startling and uncanny. When the scratches started up again my loopy parents followed me to the door. Standing there was a young girl with long black hair. black eyes and white tattered clothing tilting her head asking to come in. Without hesitation my invited her in and lead her to the kitchen table. I looked over my shoulder into my parlor and saw our hunter green carpet stained with the crimson blood of my friends. I went into a panic. The child infesting our house was laughing uncontrollably and asking my parents if they wanted to see a trick. She pulled out a screw driver and jammed it through her head. Purple blood trickled down her face as she laughed. I ran upstairs to grab my belongings, and not the way back down i had to chose the way to exit. I picked the eerie room that no one dare to go in because of the creep grandfather clock. There she sat. Laughing on the couch. I screamed where are my parents? Dead, and you're next. I sprinted out of the house to a near by park with her following close behind me. I ran up the stairs to the spiral slide and began to go down it as she was tailing me. The slide didn't end. Instead it twirled into a dungeon where i fell hard on the bricks. After hitting my head i awoke with her panting over me repeatedly gashing me with her screw driver. I opened my eyes, covered in cuts. I ran downstairs to find my mom. And i saw the girl sitting on the couch and laughing. I blinked and she was gone.

...And that's how i learned I had night terrors.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Explanatory Synthesis Notes

For the upcoming essay I will be composing a piece about how to spot bias in the media. The reason I find this topic so engaging now is because of the up coming elections. I know many people who base their opinions on things they read, because they think they are researching. What they do not know is everything they are reading is filled with bias. In every article on social media, the topics and ideas are meant to get your attention, and possibly sway you to vote for that authors favorite candidate. One of the easiest ways now-a-days to get your opinion across is making a meme and trying to make it go viral. For those who do not know what a meme is, it is the same thing as a political cartoon, but it is not always about politics. Below I have placed a meme/political cartoon I plan on analyzing in my essay.
As you can see this cartoon is a part of an anti-Trump campaign. For those who not recognize what this picture is from, it is from the TV series Game of Thrones. If i were to add my bias in, I would say it's one of the greatest shows on television. In Game of Thrones, there is a giant ice wall that separates the humans from the white walkers (frozen zombies). It is sort of like Elsa meets The Walking Dead. The idea that this cartoon is making fun of is that Donald Trump wants Mexico to pay to build a wall between there and the U.S. This is how he plans on taking care of the illegal immigrant problem. The picture is comparing that absurdity to the greatest TV show of all time. Obviously the creator of the cartoon is not a supporter of this idea. I plan on using this is my paper by put this in the section where I describe where political bias can be found. I could easily say everywhere, but for meet the requirements of the word count I will be generous with my words. I plan on showing this picture while also referring to internet memes that "break the internet" or go viral. This has become an issue, because when I look at this picture I look at it with humor and an apolitical view. If i were to share this my 200 and something friends would see it and if they shared it their friends would see it too. Some people would see this as Trump bashing and not like him, because they see that others don't. This is similar to the Bernie Sanders versus Hillary Clinton meme which make Bernie favorable to the young generation while making Hillary look like a square. There are numerous views that are floating around on the internet, and I hope to show that these are opinons not facts, even if Trumps hair actually looks like that.

Monday, February 22, 2016

Pet peeves of the average college student.

Dear fellow college students and professors,
We all grew up seeing what college was like in the movies, and perhaps we were slightly misinformed. My college experience has been nothing in comparison to American pie it has been more like High School Muscial. This is because I sing in the shower when no one is around, so here are my 20 biggest pet peeves being a freshman at a small university:
1. That one kid in class that never has to study to get a 100%. Thanks AP classes for nothing!
2. That same kid always questioning your study methods. You know who you are.
3. Also studying for hours and getting a worse threads then that person. Oh yeah. We all know that person. If you are that person, run.
4. That onet creepy professor that always laughs at his own jokes. Yes, the one whose cats understand him.
5. The food.
6. Being that person who always goes home, and when you choose to stay everyone leaves. Either you have bad luck, or everyone hates you. They hate you.
7. When professors believe that their class is the only one you have. Don't be one of those.
8. Teachers that give you an assignment at the end of their class period, and then make it due that evening. Professors listen here. We have band practice, work, football, dying grandma's, and annoying boyfriends. Please take our schedules into consideration
9. Those weird kids that don't wear shoes. Oh wait that's just Lewis University.
10. When the party on the floor below you goes well into the night and cuts into your homework time. What was that? Oh that was my iPod? Crap I forgot again I go to a Catholic school. No parties.
11. That girl on your floor who is always partying, and it seems to only affect everyone else around them.
12. That same girl who is always late to class and gets no consequences.
13. That person who songs way loud to in the shower. Oh wait that's me.
14. Hereing the person in the room across from you, have a crazy praying session with her bed creaking. There is no other reason to be telling "Oh my God" so loud in a Catholic college.
15. Those who bring their inappropriate humlr from highschool and force others into uncomfortable situations where they are forced to laugh. Like what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza...
16. Over protective parents that are constantly sending you money and care packages. Ha. Score. My parents are awesome!
17. That annoying chick with parents that spoil her.
18. That person who neflixs all day with her computer blaring orange is the new black
19. That girl who thinks she is everyone's mother away from home. One mom is enough. You're just an awful, annoying sheltered child.
20. The worst of all.... Theater majors....

Living in a golden age without knowing it

Racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia are all terms that are widely thrown around in the media currently. With how many isms and phobias are currently causing problems, I'm surprised people are rioting.... Oh wait they are. The reason this topic is on my mind is because earlier today while scrolling through Facebook, I noticed my friends aunt posted that the month of March is national stop blaming white people month. A ton of people took offfense to this. You can call me racist all you want but I agree. Not with the month dedicated to white people, but we can't keep blaming white people for everything. We also shouldn't have a whole month dedicated to American American history. As long as we keep defining ourselves as a certain color, we will all be making it about, "is it because I'm black?" For those who say that, please stop you make yourself look uneducated. Would you ask that question to that person of they weren't white? No? Then you're the one making the conversation about race. As much that is wrong with the minlenial generation, we have a great opportunity here. We were not born in a time of hate. Sure our old racist uncle Rick may occasionally drop and n bomb, but we were not bread to hate. Our schools are integrated and our favorite pop stars are gay. All types share all opportunities now. Instead of constantly blaming other races, we must set an example for younger generations. Instead of being the technology and selfie orientated generation we are being branded as now, why don't we stop this? Why don't we promote love and compassion instead of focusing on who has relatives that were slaves, concentration camp victims, or a victim of harassment? Remember them and learn from their generations mistakes. Now I will take my flower crown off and step off my soap box. EVERYONE have a nice day.

A message to those who hurt me and those I have hurt in return

As a happy-go-lucky child, I really believed that everyone was on my side and that the world worked on my favor. Boy was I wrong. Even more wrong than the conspiracy theorists who say Bush did 9/11. I would talk to anyone without a second thought, I'm serious. I don't believe I ever grasped the idea of stranger danger. I was never taken away in a white van, so that's good. My mediocracy finally helped me achieve something! I was to homely to be abducted and sold into a prostitution ring. Score! I never knew kids made fun of me. My child like bliss was only concerned with webkinz and Barbie's. I was always picked last for sports, and I always thought that's because people saved the best for last. What was truly holding me back was my optimism. I had no other way of  thinking. My parents never really thought it was bad, so in turn it was out of sight out of mind. I was made fun of everything from my weight to my voice. I mean come on I don't sound like a coke fiend on helium, so what is that bad with my voice? Deep? Yeah well you all like Morgan Freeman, so ha. Me-1 Them-0. People made fun of me for so long I began to believe everything they were saying. I had little to no self-esteem, but I was as stubborn as mule so I never changed myself. What changed was my view on everything. I was so angry, and this made me push the only people who were nice to me away. Years later I still don't think very much of myself, but I have something to say to those who hurt me and those I hurt from build up and impenetrable wall. I'm sorry. To those who hurt me, I'm sorry you never got to be my friend. I am pretty awesome and funny, but you will never get to know that, because of you I can't let people in. To those i hurt, I'm sorry. I just want you to know that you are the best kind of person. I found myself treating others the way I was treated. Wow, the golden rule, the only thing that I have ever needed outside of school. If someone is unhappy and pessimistic, don't assume that they are bad, wonder who/what did that to them.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Explaining Open Adoption

Many people have heard of what adoption is, but not all have experience in it. The minute I was born I was removed from the arms of my birth mother and given to  a new family. I was one of the first open adoptions to occur in the Chicago land area. It is where you no longer live with the family that gave birth to you, but you know who they are and you  can choose to keep in contact with them. The process is long and hard, and it is extremely difficult to adopt within the US. Most families looking to adopt most outsource to a different country. In this case, my countries will only give away babies with disabilities. My family was fortunate enough to find a young mother through their primary physician. She was 18 and unable to support the child she already had. My current parents aided her through rent and medical bills. Throughout the process she could have said no and chose to keep me and my parents would have lost all the time and money the invested to have a child of their own. She nearly changed her mind on the day of my birth, but she made the right decision and gave me to a loving family who had all of the means to take care of me. For the first 4 or 5 years of my life we stayed in contact with her and got to she her grow as I did, We saw her get married and have another child, but the idea of not having me to her own was holding her back. We lost contact with her and we all moved on with our lives. One thing I have that not many adopted children have is the piece of mind to know who she is and once was. Once the open adoption act was first past right before this process my parents went through, my parent already had tickets to go to Romania. This new law was such a big deal that between 1997-8 Hilary Clinton payed a visit to Chicago to see my mom, and she how this new plan was in progress. One last and very important thing to know about children who are adopted, just because someone gave birth to you does not mean their your mom and dad, those who raise you truly earn that title.

Monday, February 15, 2016

Back in the day

Often times people describe their past as the good ole days, and my theory is that everyone remembers their childhood and youth as simplistic.  A time better than now to me would be when I was between 6-12. I was old enough to think; however, ignorance was truly bliss. I was a very happy-go-lucky child. I believed that everyone was nice, and that everyone was like and thought like me. It was a beautiful period where life never gave me lemons and I would be randomly struck with inexplicable bliss. This was before I knew people were mean, and before I knew they didn't like me. It was a time where I was happy with what was ever put in front of me and when my biggest worry was remembering what outfit went with each of my 300 Barbies.I am not saying I do not like the present, or that my life is complicated now, but the bliss is gone. Reason and logic take over and it cages your mind which makes you slowly lose you sense of wonder. I do still find happiness in different things but not ones as simple as the sun rising. For now, my happiness resides in success, accomplishments, and the choice of love. I miss feeling utter joy when waking up instead of wanting to tie my alarm clock to a bed of nails and drive over rows of speed bumps. I crave the creativity I once had of making terrible clay figures instead of smirking when gas is affordable and ink is cheap. We rushed growing up. Society rushed us. They pushed us to want what we couldn't have. I wanted to drive a car, see R-rated movies, and have sleep overs with guys. I want to be young again I want to be ignorant. I want to be blissful.

The minlenials are both cursed and blessed with technology. Kids in this day and age are given technology straight out of the womb. This is not an exaggeration. It is a sincere right of passage into this world. They minute an infant leaves they hospital their are showered with  gifts. Happy day after birth here is your blanket, pacifier 1000, and and let's not forget their iPhone 6s. I got my first cell phone my freshman year of high school. It looked like a drug dealers burner cell. Now kids know how to play Temple Run before they can read. You positive affect technology has had on my generation besides people lacking social skills is people lacking social skills in online dating. Instead of a poem and roses, swiping right means they love you. I'm so negative about technology and online dating their is no way in hell I would be on websites such as Tinder, MeetMe, and OkayCupid. #JK I'm a millennial of course I have had all of them. Surprise, I met my long term boyfriend on line. It is  crazy how they match people on some of these sites! Oh my Jesus! You watch Orange is the New Black and he just got out of jail for possession on cocaine. Do I hear wedding bells? I hope when minlenials become parents they don't start naming their kids with hashtags and emojis, but all I have to say to this is #progress.

The idea of love

My friend recently asked me if love was a choice or a feeling. She got this question from a social experiment where students were asked the same question. They all claimed that it was a feeling. Their teacher then had them talk to people married and once married, and this changed their opinions. Each person said that in all relationships the feeling of love disappears,  and wither it works out or not is up to you. Those who ended up staying married said that what made their relationship last is the fact that they chose to keep looking for things to love even when the initial feeling escaped them. The students final response is that love is a choice. After my friend read me this article I began thinking about what I believed love was. I was waiting for a job interview and their was a giant bulletin board that said love is ____. People had to fill out their anwser in a heart and post it to the board. This is where I made me decision. Love is a philosophy. It is a choice and a feeling. Love is something to accomplish over a life time. You ultimately achieve love once you can truly open your heart to someone. It can be many people, but it must be achieved through maturity and time.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Horny Avocado

In light of the Chipotle crisis, I have finally figured out their scheme. So in my sleeplessness I decided to do what any bored teen would do and scroll down my timeline. After a few minutes of scrolling I found an article that listed 7 foods that get you in the mood. Near the top was avocado, and all I could think in my head was... That's why everyone loves Chipotle. It all makes sense now. Chipotle simply attracts horny teenagers and that's why guac is extra! Who would have though? Maybe this is why all of my friends always get laid! Buzz feed articles always make me laugh, because almost anything thing someone reads on the internet might not be credible. The most embarrassing time I have ever feel victim to the internets satire like ways was when I read an article of how the governor of Texas wanted to behead gays. I was like, "OH MY GOD NO NOT ELLEN!" I brought this to the attention of my Junior year history teacher when he was inquiring about current events. HIs jaw dropped. He walked me out to the hallway and made me pull up my source. It was the Onion. He read the same thing the day before. I never raised my hand again in American Studies.

Sound effects or the lack there of

I have always wondered when scary movies are based in the fall, why don't we ever hear the killer approaching? With at the crisp leaves on the ground a silent arropach seems improbable, because every time I walk outside it's like walking on bubble wrap. 
Instead of the Michael Myers theme song I just think "crunch crunch crunch"
Also in the spirit of how cold it is, I have been contemplating the phrase "brrrr." People often use it to describe how cold they are. I often find that my teeth chatter and i complain a lot when I'm cold, but not once have I ever said BRRRR. So while I was walking from work to my dorm, I brrrrr'ed for five minutes and felt like an idiot.
I know this is extremely random; however, in different languages people make animal noises differently. Since cats are a superior animal, these are Meows across the globe:

  • miav
  • miauw
  • nyan
  • mjan
That's not terrible but chicken sounds are absolutely hilarious:
  • tok tok
  • cluck cluck
  • kot kot
  • gut gut gdak (Of course this is from Turkey. They are obviously bias about their flightless friends)   
I am not being an insensitive asshole, but if i heard a chicken say gut gut gdak I would most likely cry.
I have just recently found an interest in sound effects and the lack there of and I just wanted to share my thoughts with the world. 

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Overall review of Pixaleted Body Image

I was very please with how this piece turned out. I love being able to be create while getting my point across. I did struggle making this paper about myself and not more like a research paper, but I hope my final copy would suffice. On the fist day of College writing 2, my professor told me that many writers are never happy, because they believe that their piece is never complete. I would like to write more on my topic and improve, because I feel very strong about how social media changes our idea of what normal is. I really did enjoy playing with topics that weren't related to prove my point. I used Kim Kardashian's picture with a champagne glass on her butt, tampon commercials, and pornography. They all came together in the end to show that social media promotes individuality, but forces conformity. They weren't all completely different if we talk about Kim's sex tape. I really was a dorky misfit in high school, and I saw all of the people around me being generally effected by what they saw on social media. I hope the audience of my paper can realize that it is normal to be different. You will never be the same as someone else, and people will adore you for your differences not your similarities. People don't love Kim Kardashian because she is the same as everyone else. They love her because her life is strange and intriguing. Not everyone lives in a mansion, has their own TV show, and names their baby girl North. THAT WAS STUPID THOUGH. I condemn her for that. She will probably go about life and screw up that child, but at least she is unique. The most important thing i hope someone can take from my essay I posted below is be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
Pixelated Body Image
My High School experience was nowhere near High School Musical. I did not get to sing and dance on a table which was a real bummer. I actually got a detention for that. I could only wish that the Glenbard North Panther’s anthem was We’re All in This Together as opposed to Uptown Funk you all. Similar to the movies, cliques were extremely prevalent. If High School was like Lion King I would have been at the bottom of the food chain, or if Glenbard was the Jungle Book, looks wise, I only made it by with the Bare Necessities. Every day I dreaded going to school and I prayed that the want-to-be Plastics from Mean Girls had gotten hit by a bus so the tormenting would stop. My peers treated me like Carrie in the prom scene, yes the part with the blood, begging me to be normal. By normal they meant stop dressing like a 60ies movie and singing and dancing in the hallways without a care. What can I say? I loved Grease. They insisted for me to Stick to the Status Quo, but I didn’t want to be cool or follow their simple rules. Unfortunately for them I would not Let it Go, and I channeled my inner-weirdness through being in film club where we would analyze movies and social media. Forgive me for my relentless movie puns. I stayed an awkward chunky misfit throughout my High School career, and this inspired me to search for what normal is. Normal is that everyone is different. Fat, skinny, ugly and beautiful are all descriptive words that people are defined as. No two people are completely alike. Though our society promotes people to be individuals, social media is also pressuring us to conform to their idea of normal through pornography, commercials, and Kim Kardashian.
 All of the bullying and name calling from the four treacherous years of standardized everything lead me to the question, what does normal mean? To others, normal is being a combination of what you see on social media and on television. In reality, normal is an adjective that describes what the majority is doing or interested in. Our society’s misconception of the idea of what normal is has proven to be detrimental to people’s self-esteem across the globe. Whither it is seeing Kim Kardashians large rear on one’s twitter, the internet setting unreachable standards through the porn industry, or tampons we are hurting because of our expectations towards ourselves and others.
            A recent topic of controversy is banning pornography. It brings unrealistic expectations to the bed room and could potentially lead to violence depending on what sort of stuff someone may fancy. The blame cannot all fall on the porn industry, because some people are influenced too easily to tell the difference between reality and fantasy. Not everyone wants chains whips in the bedroom. Thank you Christian Gray. The internet is available to whoever has a computer or smart phone. Women’s activist who realized this issue, Kaitlin Cottle and Gayle Tyree, believe, “When trying to understand or even define pornography, one thing is certain: it is misinforming us. Our socialized expectations for both beauty and sex are being dictated by pornography’s extremely limited perspective on what it means to be “sexy.” This shows that we are letting explicate porn decide what normal sex should look like. In some cases it has been noted that the excessive use of porn can lead to impotence. If everyone believes what they saw on a screen I would be a virgin for life. My parents would thoroughly enjoy this. Those who watch it religiously gain unrealistic expectations, therefore there is disappointment in the bed room and morphing what normal intercourse should be.
When you are a teenager and young adult you are at a tender age when you decide what you want in life. This is a critical period were events can shape how you view things for the rest of your life, and the last thing someone needs is to be forced into uncomfortable sexual situations. I grew up in an extremely catholic house. I have been told to save sex for marriage before I even knew what sex was. Believe me I was one of the last people to know. I was adopted and thoroughly believed that babies were hatched in jars in the Museum of Science and Industry. Let’s just say Babies in Bottles was a very misleading exhibit. Even while one is growing into their sexual maturity the simplest things are sexualized. The biggest example is tampons. It is bad enough that girls are supposed to bleed once a months and pretend we don’t mind it, but advertising agencies try to sell their product by making tampons look fun and sexy with models. Yay, bloody cotton. I would be way more likely to buy their product if it was a sick lethargic girl telling us to prepare for shark week. This makes me feel like they have to be playful and sexy while on their period as opposed to reeving chainsaws and burning down stuff. News flash, not everyone is a manically happy model on their periods, has the rockin’ bod of Chris Hemsworth, or the astounding curvature of Kim Kardashian (yes, we all saw your sex tape), so why do we let them define normal?
Similar to Kim Kardashian’s bodacious booty, a majority of the US has curves. The more popular curves are like the one’s I have. My curves are more like Rebel Wilson and Johanna Hill’s muffin tops had a baby. My self-loathing and low self-esteem branch out from the modern standard of beauty. We all fall victim to tweets, likes, and follows. The social media pages who maintain the most fan base are beautiful actors, models and other famous people. Those are the people who also tend to post the most. Speaking of posting last week I got ten likes on a picture of my sister’s first ultrasound, while Kim Kardashian nearly broke the internet on a picture, taken by Jean Paul Goude, of her balancing a wine glass on her beautiful behind.
kim kardashian champagne glass butt paper magazine Learn Kim Kardashian's secret to balancing a champagne glass on your butt
Kim Kardashian shows off her unique curves by balancing a champagne glass on the behind. (Fig. 1 Bentley)

 I’m not jealous, well maybe just a little. This picture was undeniably photo-shopped. It shows Kim in a tight sequence dress popping open a bottle of champagne. The champagne is flowing over head into a wine glass conveniently placed on her butt. Don’t you hate when that happens? This shows that unnatural beauty is emphasize in our society. People strive to look like their favorite actors in models, but little do they know their natural looks will never be enough. We live in a day and age where we know that pictures and magazine covers are photo shopped and air-brushed, and we do not try to change it. Instead we except this as a normal social standard, and try to deform out bodies to achieve the unrealistic. Lets face it, Kim “doesn’t” have butt implants, and no matter how many squats the average person does they will never achieve what she has.
My chest and butt are flat. My stomach in round. I hate wearing heels, and I have no idea how to do smoky eye. I’d rather watch things with zombies than get my nails done, and I do not care what others think about me. I have never felt as hateful toward myself as I did in freshman year English. The popular group’s mockery rang in my ears like the seagulls from Nemo going MINE. Their snarky comments and inquiry about my friend with mild autism sent me over the edge. Just because he was “weird.” One minute I was in my desk and the next all of them were on the floor. The captain of the hockey team looked at me and with the same ego driven mockery he displayed toward my friend he told me, “Maybe if you could lose some weight and talk less you can hang with us.” I left the room with my companion and never looked back, except for everyday when I had to go to English. I had an epiphany that none of these people would ever be truly happy with themselves in their constant pursuit of normal. Alex and I left period 5 content, for we had found normal by standing out and standing up.
I am normal, and so are you as the reader. It is a part of our society to make us feel different or not up to par. As a young women it is nearly impossible for me to not compare myself to Kim Kardashian and porn stars. These people we see as role models of beauty are a minority. They are normal too. People should not think S&M is normal or that thigh gaps are necessary. We are not weird, and neither are these celebrities with scientifically questionable bodies. Everyone is different, and different is normal. We are simply trying to stay sane in a world with insane expectations.
Work Cited
Fig. 1 Bentley, Jean. "Learn Kim Kardashian's Secret to Balancing a Champagne Glass           on Your Butt." Zap2It. N.p., 18 Nov. 2014. Web. 06 Feb. 2016.
Cottle, Kaitlin, and Gayle Tyree. "A Humanist Argument Against Pornography.
"American Humanist Association. American Humanist Association, 2016. Web. 02 Feb. 2016.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Peer Review

I have never been a fan of peer reviews. I don't handle criticism well. I personally like to believe that I am perfect, and you should to. This week I have been exposed to a new way a peer reviewing. We are given a list of questions to answer about other's papers. It is an interesting concept; however, I'm not sure if I am completely on bored with the idea. I prefer having a hard copy, and running through them making correction with grammar and suggestions while my attention is on a specific part. The questions we are given are about the over arching topic and the effectiveness of how it is delivered. The critiques my peer reviewers have given me are all positive, but that doesn't let me know what I should fix. I would prefer critiques to tell me what I am doing wrong. I am not sure if I can get improvements from how this is set up. If I were to change the way peer revisions were set up, I would make partners and have them grade each other's papers. First they would go over grammatical errors and then I would answer the questions. Instead of trying to revise two or three paragraphs with minimal comments, I would have students work one on one to give as much advice in a class period.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

O is for overprotective parents

I Wumbo. You Wumbo. He, She, We Wumbo. We all have that childhood show that we still fan girl about. F is for friends who do stuff together. U is for you and me who both religiously watched spongebob. N is for anywhere and anytime at all, except for when you had over protective parents. My parents thought that Spongebob was a bad influence, along with Ed, Ed and Eddie because they used the word stupid. I remember my mother taking me to see Sex in the City with her, and everytime Samantha came on the screen she would cover my eyes. One thing my parents have never understood is protective parents make sneaky children. This is a parenting tip: DO NOT keep a tight leash on your kids, or they will end up like me. Yes my grades are great, I have a job, and I was in many clubs, but I am sneaky. After hearing no my whole life I began to rebel in High School, but not with cheap color hair dye or black clothing. No meant find a different way. I perfected lying and sneaking out. To conclude, I now have a Spongebob tattoo on my ankle. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Lights, Camera, Murder

I believe the type of movies people watch define their personalities. For example, my boyfriend likes anime, so he's really damn weird. I am just kidding. For those who judge people for watching anime, it is asian cartoons. You like spongebob? You might like anime. Anyways, people always tell me that my movie collection is random. They think it is funny that I have a jumble of Disney, Barbie, and Scary movies. To explain this strange phenomenon I tell people that it actually describes my personality. The reason I fan girl over scary movies isn't because I am deranged or want to kill people myself, but because I enjoy watching movies where I am better off than people. I don't have a superiority complex, but as opposed to watching romance movies and envying their life, I feel content knowing no one is trying to kill me. With the Disney movies I just enjoy fantasy, and it makes me want to escape my reality. Movies are my life. I am a Disney princess.

Who's Pearl Harbor?

Ignorance is bread. No not the delicious carb, but ignorance and bigotry is born through a lack of education. There are multiple accounts in my years of standardized everything where I couldn't believe how incredibly stupid some people are. The first account was when I was is seventh grade. I was sitting in english, and one of the cheerleaders raises her hands and in a ridiculously serious voice asks, "Who's Pearl Harbor? If that wasn't enough for me to lose faith in humanity the next will be shocking. In my Sophomore year in High School my class was in the process of reading Macbeth. For those who do not know Shakespeare writes how Yoda talks. Not order in words he puts. We were having a class inquiry when my teacher asks us how is it possible to kill Macbeth if the prophesized killer could not be from a mother's womb, The question was up in the air for the whole class to answer. One kid said it could possibly be an alien. I gave it a thought, but when has Shakespear ever written about aliens? Then next kid said animal. That kid was an idiot. I didn't think it could get any worse until from the back of the room I hear someone say, "Were they adopted?" I am adopted. My response is said to be priceless. I stood up and yell, "You're right. We're hatched in jars." I disagree with the statement, "There are no dumb questions." There are, and that is one. I will never be surprised what comes out of another humans mouth again.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Hi I'm Barbie!

My recent news feed has been flooded with Barbie. Many may say that is childish, and I normally have no opposition to Barbie. The article reads that they have made Barbie more diverse. She is taller, shorter, different colors, and God knows heavier because there is no way she is getting skinnier. I am glad that over the past few years diversity has been pushed for, but as an avid Barbie consumer this is ridiculous. In my childhood i owned the dream house, the jeep, the plane, and my mother said she once counted how many I had and it was roughly 300. My demographic is caucasian, over weight, and brunette. Barbie looks nothing like me. I look more like a cabbage patch kid that was caught on fire, but I was never inclined to look like Barbie. The reason there has been a push for diversity in Barbie's looks is because parents believe that Barbie will give their children unrealistic expectations on body image. To those people I say stop being so damn sensitive. Barbie is an iconic image like Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe, and no one ever asked them to change because their looks were unobtainable and little girls were struggling with self image. I never threw up to look like Barbie or beg for blonde hair. Instead of these parents complaining about how Barbie doesn't look realistic maybe they should take a look at all of the Disney princesses. On top of that instead of trying to change everything, I suggest to you to teach your daughter or son the difference between reality and make believe. All of the children I grew up with never had a problem growing up because they didn't look like their childhood toy, and yours shouldn't either.

Money Can Buy Happiness

Hi I'm Amanda and I'm a shopaholic.
 Shortly after returning to college from winter break, I had an abrupt epiphany. If life gives you lemons. make lemonade. After making the sugared drink, open a lemonade-stand and take the money and go buy a watermelon. They are the superior fruit. To me this meant that money is a primary component in happiness. This realization occurred because I did not work over break so my funds were insufficient. Fortunately, my bank account still looked better than the US's economy. Not including all of the Christmas present I bought over beak, I went crazy with the after Christmas sales. With no deposits entering my account I saw my earnings plummeting. With in the first couple weeks of being on campus I have gotten a new tattoo, brought my mom a Birthday present for her Birthday in 6 months, and oh so much online shopping. I feel excitement and relief with every transaction. I noticed I shopped as a relaxation method, and the less money I have the lower self-esteem I have. I am aware many people say money can't buy happiness. They are wrong. Yes it can.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Bath and Body Death

Death is like finishing off your favorite perfume. The comparison is absolutely crazy, but it is a drastic way to cope this the concept of death. Death is inevitable. Do you know what else is inevitable? One getting down the the last drop of their best perfume. If not for death there would be no new life. If their way new life, we would be struck with over-population issues. If you don't finish off perfume before buying new ones, eventually your vanity will be unsustainable and filled with a mixture of plastic and glass bottles and vials. Unfortunately with humans we can not just off them if we have too many. In that case, there would be a struggle for clean water and food. The lack of these bare necessities would end up with death. This means each death opens room for new light. Similarly you will be initially sad that you finished your favorite, but now you get to by a new one. Obviously more grieving will be involved with the loss of a person, but in the end we must all except that they lived a full life and better the world for the next generations to come. Side note I really enjoy the pumpkin spice latte body mist from Bath and Body Works.

L is for the way you give me food

What does it mean when I say love?
What is love? Baby don't hurt me... What does love mean? Love to me is a warm radiating feeling that gives me overwhelming joy. Unfortunately it doesn't rein true for everyone. Love is a feeling in which you interpret for yourself. Does it mean that I knew you were trouble when you walked in or that I will be loving you till we're 70? In either of those cases that is worry-sum. In this day and age people tend to live longer than 70, so Ed Sheeran does it just end then? T-Swift you are known for you love songs. Well more or less you are known for your break up songs, but does love mean dating attractive famous people and ending off badly with them for your next album? Many people think love is safety or the feeling of togetherness, but when I say love it means I will unconditionally care for one who has shown me that they are worthy. My favorite quote is from the Moulin Rouge, "The greatest gift you can learn in life is to love and be loved in return."

A will is a dead giveaway

What is normal? Is it right to still love those who are with us physically, but not mentally? When is it time to let go? What is the normal way to grieve? What defines normal? This morning I opening the recreation center, and upon completing my assigned tasks i receive a phone call at 6am from my mother. I thought nothing of it since she is an early-bird anyways. I answered semi-groggy whipping the crust out of my eyes. She told me that my Grandma had pasted away at 2am this morning, but she didn't want to wake me. I apologized to her and my father and told them I love them. Once the line went dead tears swelled up in my eyes, and I called my close friend to come comfort me at work. I have never heard my Dad cry before which crushed me. Kyana showed up at work with a coffee to comfort me, but with in the time I called her and her five minute walk my eyes dried up. It wasn't that my heart wasn't still broken, but I don't know how to handle my emotions. I tend to cover up my excruciating sadness with crude humor. This has lasted me all day. Now I ask, what is normal? What is the normal way to grieve without inappropriate humor? People use the word normal to describe a common trend, but how do you go about your life being normal? I knew Cecelia Heimdal was dying for months now. The mix of Alzheimer, Sepsis, and pressure ulcers got the best of that little polish lady. She used to smell of moth balls and watch Church on the hell-ivision every Sunday. If i saw this coming why does it hurt so bad? Even though she had lost her mind years ago and constantly called me by the wrong name and repeated stories from the great depression. How could crying be normal? Does water spewing from your eyes really make people feel better? Does it comfort the lost of a long and wholesome life? If so, I am not normal.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

A fishy situation

Some may say I'm obsessive, but I believe I am a collector. Not to be confused with a horder, I enjoy to acquire things of value. I move between things at a dangerous pace. Whether it is a DVD collection or comic books, my collections erratically grow and shrink like Bill Cosby, if you know what I mean. My most recent interest has been in living things. Similar to Cosby, they come into my home without consent. Please don't freak out. They are fish. I started with one Beta fish that I put in a traditional tank with Spongebob's pineapple as decoration. I named him Kenudo after a one-star animation I saw on Netflix. No. Not Anime. I found this fish so intriguing that the next I happening to be at a shopping center, I left with another fish. His name is Mathis. Eventually this lead to me wanting to mate fish for God knows what reason. This desire ended me up with Punchkee. Yes. Just like the Polish pastry. I have yet to breed them, but lets hope I don't find something else to collect.

A Shopaholic with a lack of cash.

You won't regret these terrible puns

I regret. I regret many of things. The real question is who doesn't? People don't realize that even though words aren't tangible, they are still permanent. Permanence is what I lost through my words, and through and through I regret. I regret not telling you how much you meant to me. I regret not thanking you more. I regret never saying what was on my mind, but what I regret the most is what I did say. You are not a bad friend. You never were. Now you are gone. Not dead, but gone. I am dead. Dead to you. What would I have said? Sorry? No. I love you. Yes.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

The Devils Lettuce

What I learned today...
Like everyday I learned things in many different categories. While roaming the hallways and sitting in class many blurbs of information have wandered past me. In psychology we focused on the scientific method and how there are new experimental depression drugs that are administered through nasal spray. Then while I was eating my grilled cheese sandwich with mayo I over heard kids talking about the price of "the devil's lettuce." Who knew that's what they called weed now-a-days. I also learned that eBay ships quickly, because i received the Barbie movies I ordered on Saturday. Let the knowledge flow.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

This was mandatory

What are our responsibilities to each other when we blog? Do we have responsibilities to others when we communicate?

Blogging is a way of expressing yourself and ideas to others. It is important to make one's writings a two way form of communication. If communication was never in existence then we about lack collaboration and therefore progress. One's responsibly to readers is to convey a message that will give the recipients an opportunity to reply. Through out this process a community can share ideas and express themselves to change minds and possibly create something more. While communication it is important to get your point across, yet leave your mind open. Communication may be one way in one's inner thoughts; however, it is a way to relay ideas, thoughts and emotions between one another. It is the sender of the messages job to give clarity and when one receives feedback to listen. To me, communication is meant for independent minds to be able to hold their own opinions while being in contact with someone with the opposite views. That does not mean to be stubborn and never change one's mind. The idea focuses on understanding both sides of a story to add more insight to your thoughts or opinions.